Saying Goodbye: Navigating the Heartache of Losing a Beloved Pet

Losing a beloved pet can be very difficult. Though it’s different in ways from losing a loved human, it isn’t necessarily easier. Relationships with our assorted critters often provide us with unconditional support and love, a non-judgemental ear, selflessness, and straight forward connection, one that is not tainted by agendas or expectations. What you see is what you get with a pet. Although our communication with them is not a mutually verbal exchange, they share a lot with us through their physical presence, single-minded attention, and ability to attune to our emotional and corporeal states. Frequently, our animal friends can be our most reliable and steady companions.

Pets can’t tell us when it’s “time” because I don’t believe animals can tell time, they seem to inhabit each moment as it comes. Barring an abrupt medical event or accident, humans are left to guess when it is “the right” time for our beloved companions to go. I do believe that putting an animal down is the hardest part of being a pet owner. I also firmly believe that this act, while always conflicted, is an action of love, mercy, and sacred obligation. Over the past few decades, the understanding and support surrounding how difficult losing a pet is and having to make the decision to end a pet’s life has grown. Nowadays there are pet support groups, articles, books, and counseling targeted to help pet owners navigate their bereavement process. Such organizations as the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB), Lap of Love’s Virtual Support Group, Animals in Our Hearts, to name just a few, can be sources of information and support for bereaved pet owners. There are also agencies that can come to our homes, assess our pet’s quality of life, and, when it’s time, put them to sleep in the comfort of familiar surroundings and faces. This option also allows surviving pets to see, smell, and “know” that their buddy is no longer physically with us. A local agency that provides such support is Gentle Goodbyes, who lovingly and respectfully provide pets and their owners a dignified pet death.

 

Melissa Young, MSW, LCSW, has been a Mental Health Professional for 30+ years having the opportunity to serve in a variety of mental health settings, with diverse client populations, working in various roles. As a Clinical Social Worker she has had the opportunity to work with survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence; as an Outpatient Psychotherapist within a Community Mental Health Center; a Peace Corps Volunteer in Asuncion Paraguay; Hospice Social Worker; and currently working as a Counselor at the Saint Alphonsus Employee Assistance Program and Clinical Supervisor with Tidwell Social Work Services and Consulting Inc.