Critical Difference Stories: Birth
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The Schilz Family Story—My Three Sons

Shock and Awe
Kelly and John Schilz had been married for three years. At 32 and 33 years old, respectively, they felt now was the time for a baby, maybe two. When a medical condition prevented natural conception, the determined couple elected to have In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). They were aware of the IVF success rate, about 30%, so they chose to have three embryos transferred.

Kelly was twelve weeks along when they learned the improbable had happened; they were pregnant times-three. “We knew there was only a 3% chance of all 3 taking, so it was a total shock,” Kelly remarked. “All I saw were dollar signs, but John was so happy he was in tears.”

Multiple pregnancies are considered high-risk, so Kelly was referred to Saint Alphonsus Maternal-Fetal Medicine Specialist Renee Bobrowski, MD. The doctor informed the expectant parents about potential risks with multiple births. The unpleasant reality is that all three may not make it full term. The babies would likely be premature and need to spend time in the Saint Alphonsus Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) while their bodies continued toward full-term development. But Kelly and John felt ready for whatever would come their way.

ABC
The parents-to-be had already picked out a boy name, a girl game, and now needed a third. The last name would wait until they knew the gender, but at twenty weeks it became clear they needed two more boy names. “I always pictured myself as a boy-mama,” Kelly said. “…so I was thrilled.” With help of a baby book and a review of the family tree, they had their names. For now, however, the boys were referred to as ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’.

Both incomes were needed to cover the staggering expense of triplets. Kelly had paid maternity leave, but when her contractions started at week 22, she was immediately placed on bed rest by her doctor. The couple knew they faced an income shortfall as her paid leave would now expire before she could return to work. But fortuned smiled on the Schilz family when Kelly’s coworkers rallied to her cause and generously donated four months of paid leave.

At twenty nine weeks Kelly was hospitalized as a precaution and at thirty one weeks the situation took on a sense of urgency. Each baby had their own little spot inside mother, and Kelly had become familiar with the movement of each. But baby ‘B’ hadn’t moved in a while and Dr. Bobrowski knew it was time for the boys to come out - now. Kelly called John at home with the news.

Driving like an expectant father, John’s haste caught the attention of a policeman who followed him into the hospital parking lot. The officer asked John “Is your wife having a baby?”

“She’s having three,” John exclaimed! With that, the officer wished him good luck and John charged into the hospital where Kelly had just undergone her own little interruption. The Georgia Bulldogs football team was touring the hospital as part of their pre-bowl game P.R. activities. As they passed Kelly’s room they learned about the triplets about to arrive. Not wanting to pass on this opportunity, the football players, film crew and team representatives were lead by a nurse to meet the new mom.

“My anxiety level was rising and the nurses thought it would be a good distraction,” Kelly said. Photos were taken and three baby snow-hats were given to Kelly - Bulldog team colors, of course.

The Worst
The emergency cesarean was lead by Dr. Bobrowski with a support team of doctors and twelve nurses. Kelly was awake but a sheet blocked her view of the action. John would be her play-by-by man as the boys were brought out one at a time. A, B and C were now Evan, Noah and Cole.

Following the planed process, each new arrival was taken immediately to the NICU to be placed on oxygen and kept warm. While Kelly couldn’t yet see her boys, she could hear them as they arrived, except for Noah. His silence troubled Kelly as he left the room.

The three boys were receiving oxygen when the parents looked upon them for the first time - their tiny faces concealed by the plastic masks. They had prepared themselves for this, but it was still hard not being able to hold them, or see their beautiful faces. Two days later, Noah got their attention again.

“He had a massive pulmonary hemorrhage and then his heart stopped,” said Kelly with a quiver in her voice. “We were told to prepare to make some tough choices. It was complete and utter devastation…it was the worst moment of my entire life.”

The Best
It would be a long, grueling week of waiting before the odds would favor Noah’s survival. Permanent disabilities were likely due to the length of time his heart had stopped; only time would tell.

Kelly was discharged after four days, but she never really went home. She returned to the Saint Alphonsus NICU every day, where she would watch her boys as she rode the emotional roller coaster.

For the first seven weeks, a volley of events kept John and Kelly off balance. Cole was refusing to breathe on his own. Evan had a blood disorder, requiring two blood transfusions. Noah’s body became septic, producing black urine as his kidneys struggled to heal. At this point the emotionally frayed parents grabbed onto any good news. Events as minor as Cole’s oxygen supply being turned down were reason for celebration. Through it all, Kelly and John felt like helpless bystanders.

The anxious parents were thrilled when asked to hold Cole and Evan, “kangaroo style.” With skin against skin, the delicate newborns would lie on the tummy of John or Kelly. For an hour each day, parent and infant would literally have one-on-one time. “All we were doing was providing them with body heat, which they couldn’t do on their own yet, but at least we were doing something,” Kelly remembered. “They were so small we were afraid to move, so we sat still for an hour. It was scary…but it was the best.”

Guess How Much
As for Noah, Kelly had to settle for looking through the glass. On good days she was allowed to put her hand through the hole and place her finger in his diminutive hand. A month passed before she could change his diaper and hold him, but no skin- to-skin for Noah, not yet. He was placed on a pillow, and the pillow on the parent. “We didn’t care, we still felt like he was in our arms,” Kelly quipped. But there was something Kelly could do with Noah, every day she would read to him. The book was always the same, Guess How Much I Love You.

The strain of the situation had filled the emotional cups of John and Kelly. With each well-wishing call from a caring family member, it became harder to keep it together. Things got easier when a visiting March of Dimes representative told them about the Caring Bridge website, where they could set up a journal webpage. Now they could post daily updates for family and friends to view, and visitors could leave their messages of support - a “baby-blog.”

We Can Do This
On the seventh week Cole and Evan were strong enough to go home - Noah stayed behind. Kelly and John were now the sole support for their babies, which meant nighttime feedings. “If everything went well we got maybe, two hours of sleep between feedings,” Kelly reflected.

The routine at home and stress of having a baby in the NICU took the new parents to the brink of physical and emotional exhaustion. But everyday Kelly would return to be by Noah’s side, often accompanied by John and the brothers.

Ten weeks crawled by before Noah was strong enough to go home. As Noah took his place in the nursery, John and Kelly looked at each other with the same thought, “Our family is finally together.”

The previous three weeks with Cole and Evan allowed John and Kelly to develop what they felt was a solid routine. “All we have to do is insert one more baby into the routine,” they thought. “We can do this.”

“We may have well brought home ten more babies! It was chaos,” Kelly exclaimed. The routine for two was derailed by the addition of Noah. “We never felt like we could give any of them all the attention they needed,” Kelly said. And when John’s leave had run its course, a nanny had to be brought in to help Kelly. Now, after fourteen months, life for the family is easier. “Our routine is our sanity,” remarked Kelly.

Now I Know
With a mother’s pride, Kelly remarked, “They are all so different. They even have different hair color, a red head, a brunette and a blonde,” Kelly laughed. But one thing in common, they are all healthy. And Noah shows no evidence of his terrorizing ordeal.

Kelly is quick to advise new parents of multiples. “Don’t be too proud to accept help, be prepared for time in the NICU, remember to take care of yourself…and I wouldn’t go anywhere other than Saint Alphonsus.”

Reflecting on her new life, Kelly confessed, “I never knew how much I would love to be a mom. I never really had a big passion in my life, but now I know I was put on this earth for my three sons.”